The adult in the addictive family system tends to have severely limited awareness. In childhood, particularly early childhood, he knowingly struggled to not be angry, sad or afraid. In adulthood, he operates “on automatic.” By then, lessons may have been so well learned that, only at times, is there so much as a vague sense of anxiety, or perhaps a sense of emptiness. When “bad” emotions do manage to “leak through,” they aren't viewed as important information or preparation. They are more likely to be a source of confusion or fear; they shouldn't be there.

One reason emotional experience continues to be seen as “bad,” even after adult reasoning ability has developed, is that, having a history of being suppressed, the emotions are “behind the times.” Imagine, for instance, a bright child who has learned he is intellectually incompetent. Any attempt to “be smart” in school brought humiliation from his peers.

Later in life he may feel anxious or fearful when faced with an exam. Even though circumstances are different from those in childhood, the same feelings are subject to surface based on the similarities. He knows his feelings are “wrong” and an “interference.” He will make every effort to suppress, ignore and/or discount them. By suppressing his fear and anxiety, by refusing to be aware of a wealth of subconscious information, he never learns to “automatically” discriminate between childhood situations where he was humiliated and similar situations in adult life. The subconscious continues to act on the old lessons. “I am stupid and will be humiliated.”

In “normal” functioning, the subconscious would generate fear and make pertinent information on similar past situations available to consciousness. The conscious mind, in response, would focus its